Dear J-
One of the first things to go, at least for me, is verbal communication once I get really tired; the thoughts may be formed well in my head, but somewhere they get translated into nonsensical sounds. I’ve noticed it when reading to figgy late at night (somehow bedtime keeps shifting later and later this summer — with any luck, the early darkness should put an end to it). Yesterday, while writing up homework for my PE review class, I noticed that I’d started to write a story about sunglasses instead of figuring out the hydraulic grade line; I knew it was time for bed.
Tonight looks like a bust for homework too — you get only so far along and then you’re stuck on a problem set for what seems like days on end (and when you spend as little time as I do, and consequently gain as little knowledge, too) with no finish in sight; between no time and no motivation, it’s a wonder that I’m learning anything lately. There are times that I worry there’s only so much room in my head; already some of the earlier chapters are starting to look a bit sketchy.
One thing that’s not in doubt: it’s sadly easy to frustrate figgy lately, and that long memory of hers is easy to trigger. Reason doesn’t seem to do us many favors (you can only say so much and promise stuff for later, but she always wants it now, now, now) and reasoning doesn’t make much sense, but even I have trouble distinguishing now from later at times: I could be studying right now instead of waiting for fatigue to turn my voice and mind into mush, but that’s what I’ve chosen.
Mike