Space Walk

Dear J-

Steady is as steady does; the concrete ribbon undulates below the beating tires and carries me past houses, lights, restaurants, people, grass and birds.  Tires whisper a secret song underneath their breath while I wonder about how many acres disappear beneath pavement; it’s like duct-taping the earth down, sealing in nature between webs of smooth pavement.  From space does it look like a spangled stained-glass window or have we gone too far already, are the bars of lead weighing us down?

Take a look at our home and ponder what Tsiolkovsky thought:  Earth is the cradle, so when will we get up and walk around, exploring our neighborhood?  When we can or when we must?

Mike

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Freezer Tetris

Dear J-

I need to devote some space today to draw attention to the pernicious invasion of homes all across the world.  Every day, millions of people struggle with the game, and yet no one comes out ahead.  Still we press on hoping that there is one true solution, and yet it only results in heartache and crushed goods.

I speak, of course, of Freezer Tetris.  Admit it — you bought that bulk pack of ravioli because you thought it would make a good, quick meal six months ago; after a couple of tries, it’s ended up somewhere in the back corner, molded to the shape of your freezer bars/wall/grate and encased, neatly, in a block of ice like some neolithic primitive, waiting to be thawed and enjoyed.  In a fit of pique, next summer, as you attempt to insert that long, thin pack of Klondike bars, you’ll chance on it and throw it out as inedible.  And then where will you be the week after, when you do have a craving for ravioli again?

Please, stop the madness before it begins.  Buy what you know you will eat, not what you think would be nice occasionally.  I know, you’ve said all along that you’ll cook more frozen veggies, but think of the room you’d gain for frozen pizzas!  Let’s return our freezers to their original intended purpose, a preserve for Hungry-Man meals and ice cream!

Join us next week for a special message on Garage Tetris; the week after, we’re going to discuss Attic Tetris.

Mike

Space Nerd

Dear J-

True story:  once, I made up a test for the gifted kids at school to quiz them on space knowledge.  I had it backwards, with the easiest questions being worth the most, and the hardest ones the least, but I still enjoyed asking who were the five astronauts and cosmonauts on the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project (and who was, despite being a member of the Mercury 7, making his maiden voyage into space).

Thanks to Darla for digging up this quiz.

Mike

P.S.  I confess I had to look it up again.  Stafford always gets me.