Posts Tagged ‘pirate’

One World

22 May 2011

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Dear J-

On a lark we headed off to the Maritime Museum today — like Battleship Cove it’s a collection of museum ships but not all warships — there’s a merchant sailing ship (Star of India) and a ex-Bay Area ferry, the Berkeley, for starters — which made it the perfect day for Pirate’s Day at the museum. figgy is a yo ho yo ho a Pirate’s life for me kind of girl so of course we got there and had to get all the pirate swag we could get our hands on; the candy and snacks were consumed within the hour and the rest of the goods were worn or tried on soon thereafter.

In one interesting episode I brought her to the gift shop where she picked out an eyepatch and reasoned out a way to get what she wanted. In my experience you save the gift shop for last so you can bring a souvenir home. In her four-year-old mind she took that to mean that if you leave you can buy it so she declared it was time to go home. No, really. Right then. The end result was agreeing to get it right then but only the one thing and we didn’t have to go home — we could keep going through the other ships too. Fear for our figgy-dominated future. Fear for our lives that will end up waiting on her hand and foot.

We ate lunch well after we should have — the general shortness and refusal to follow instructions mean that either sleep or food has run low and we have been remiss in addressing it. Afterwards, when we were all separately convinced that we should have ordered something else (I had the fish and chips which were a bit greasy, theVet had shrimp which could have stood less breading, and figgy had chicken strips which went completely ignored) we had the best part: dessert. As previously noted she has quite enough observation to know what she wants and find some charming way to ask. The blue flavor was soon served and savored and we have but to follow now.

Mike

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Wall Street Corsairs

19 September 2008

Dearrrrrrrr J-

This bein’ talk like a pyrrrr-aght day has no bearrrin’ on the way I’ll be handlin’ yer letturrr tonight.  Ye’ve got ta’ be lookin’ on the brright side of things, aftur all; if it weren’t fer th’ keel-haulin’ at work, we’d be havin’ no fun a-tall.  Aye, it’s time ta set sail fer the weeken’, clatter yer boots acrost the deck, an’ bring yer trustiest sayburrrr, for it’s treasure we’ll be huntin’ tonight.

Th’ bilge rats arrrr makin’ more noise tonight; we be taken fer fools agin as the corsairs of Wall Street be acceptin’ yer money with anothur short rrrrally fueled by th’ guvurnmint bailouts lends confidence to investors like cheap grog to land-lubburrs.  We be told — disclaimed! — that past perrrformance is no indicator of future returrrns, aye, but you trust th’ words, historical precedent an’ bull markets shows we needs yer money now.  Th’ upheaval in th’ financial world, it’s just a blip, an’ we’ve learned arrrrr lessin’ — ’twas arrr naughtyness, no more.  S’pose I stole yer money — tain’t hard, as I done it ta my crew more’n once, afore they left me fer dead on Dead Man’s Isle — s’pose I stole yer money twice an’ wouldn’t it be shame on you then?

How’s the guvurnmint keepin’ yon companies afloat?  Why, they be givin’ ’em yer money, th’ money they takes out of yer bone-weary fingers.  An’ they keep takin’ yer money, but you don’t own th’ companies, you don’t decide how much ta reward th’ incompetent CEOs, but then they turn arrrround an’ ask fer more investin’.  It’s loony!  How much morrrr of yer loot can they take?  An’ how can big corporations act as superrr-citizens, moving offshorrrr to avoid payin’ their taxes, sending jobs abroad, an’ still have their hand out without shame?  If ye dodged taxes an’ lived on the guvurnmint, they calls ye a bum; but we be callin’ the corporations fiscally responsibull.  It’s clear who the pyrits arrr; an’ it’s clear that ye’ve got a havey load ta’ stop ’em.  Ye can’t stop ’em from gunnin’ fer profit, but ya don’t have ta feed th’ beast neither.

ARRRRRR!

Mike