Skunk Cat Chronicles

Dear J—

Every couple of weeks I’ll see the skunk that lives in our neighborhood when I’m riding off to work; I’ll turn the corner and there it is, scuttling away under a car or waddlying away from me, tail half raised and going up – I give it a wide berth and we go on our separate ways. Funny thing is I usually see the same tuxedo-patterned cat a few steps later, almost as if they had heard me and dodged being caught together.

I like to make up dialogue in my head after that. How did they meet, that first time? You know how the skunk has a rolling gait when the tail goes up, almost as if to warn you just HOW loaded he is? (he because I see it as a macho thing)

Skunk: HEY! Hey you! HEY! DON’T TEST ME!

Cat: Uh, okay. whatever. Great.

Skunk: I HAVE THIS AND I’M NOT – I – uh, what?

Cat: Well, go ahead if you must but I ain’t movin’. 

S: But I’m gonna, I mean, hello? The tail is up. It’s UP!

C: Yeah, and?

S: You don’t know what that means?

C: If you really think I’m a threat to you then I mean, c’mon. Look at you. You’re my size.

S: What does that mean?

C: Well, I pick on things smaller than me. I’m sorta hoping 

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