Dear J—

Well, not particularly productive, work-wise, this weekend but then again I don’t necessarily have to be, I suppose. I did a few pictures and an article on Wikipedia so I suppose it wasn’t a complete waste. There was only a small amount of angst between me and the park ranger, and various moments of anger as we head on towards a better understanding but I feel like I’m turning into an unimaginative bully who doesn’t make much sense anyway and how little time I get to myself and what kind of extra-ridiculous bull is that, right?

I need to remember how demanding I can be and why and whether it’s realistic. These are easy things to keep calm about in the early morning calm and quiet but the longer I go on the more I think the lesson hasn’t sunk in. What do I hope to accomplish, not bothering to take them anywhere to explore our world here? Nothing. Nothing. Now that they can both use the toilet what’s stopping me? Fear of … nothing. I dunno. We stay stuck on the same small things and I’m tired of not knowing any better.



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