New Deal

Dear J-

There were contractors on-site that I remember not seeing suddenly; just one day suddenly stopped showing up and I’d learn later what the offense du jour was, whether it was not conforming to some perceived norm or because they needed to make a headcount work, that was the life; you never knew what was in store from one day to the next. Get over it I suppose because that’s what you do as a supplemental gun-for-hire; these things aren’t too difficult but they’re needed and so you keep moving forward with it. Somewhere between here and there you realize that job security means a lot at the end of the night, money or not, and so you either specialize or stop moving altogether.

I like to think that if I hadn’t made my choices then I wouldn’t be where I am now, when I’m feeling smug about the status quo, and when I’m feeling unsettled instead I’m cursing those same choices. On the other hand you make them based on the information you have at the moment they’re made and for better or worse you’re stuck with them, as it were, so make the most of it and if it’s not something you can change — or that you can fix — then why are you worrying about it now? Precisely.

There’s many things that can’t be helped when it comes right down to it; the trick is learning which and when to let go, then aggressively flexing the ones you can change. We made choices a couple of years ago in response to the situation, but that’s not to say we can’t keep moving forward to some nicer resolution.



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