Two Lines

Dear J-

We have now been … now … well, let’s see. What should I expect if I ignore the kids all night and then choose to be impatient at the end? That sounds about right.Return with patience and kindness and love; it’s easier to practice when you see someone else returning the opposite, though, like you need some sort of counterexample to realize just how ridiculous it is. It is, or you are? You can’t be that weary all the time, and yet here you are, angry as ever, angry as always, so, y’know, get over your bad self.

More sleep? Free time? Quiet activities? There are many (many) other choices in the world besides the ones you’ve chosen, so hopefully these lessons of impatience and I-don’t-have-time-for-you don’t stick too deeply, although I fear it becomes permanent after too long. It’s not the choices so much as it is tuning out and abdicating responsibilities. I’m not pleased with myself lately, and that’s got everything to do with choices I know are wrong and that I’m willing to admit are wrong.



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