Dear J-

theVet and I have this in common: discourtesy is infuriating. I’m sure I have a much larger box of pet peeves but here’s the thing: if you see something where someone’s only thinking of themselves, something you know they wouldn’t do if they knew someone was watching, well … I dunno. Do you publicly shame them and rant and rave and make all kinds of ugly faces? What can you do? The sociology of it can be fascinating, I suppose, but that’s always lost in the resulting slow burn I feel. So I’m trying not to be an angry person but that’s how it is some days; you let go of it if it’s not a big deal and you can manage and you realize that maybe you don’t have all the facts of the situation, which you don’t, because you can’t have everything all the time.

So yeah, get over yourself.

Pizza emergency, remember? I once saw a neighbor pull up to their house (here, this was in San Diego and that was the house of interesting Deutscher diesels: a Gelandewagen diesel, a Vanagon diesel, a Rabbit pickup diesel — not sure if they called those Kombis or not) in a rapid fashion, almost drifting to the curb in their haste, which is no small trick in a little Honda Civic from the 70s. They hopped out and pulled a pizza from the front seat and hustled to the door. You know what? Pizza emergency, rightly and obviously, of course. There’s no other explanation that makes sense.

For a while I tried to tell myself that folks hurrying to cut me off on the freeway (see there’s that taking-everything-personally thing again: “cut me off”) had their own pizza crises to deal with because it was more amusing and easier to assume than that they were just being selfish. I watched a car drop out into the exit-only lane and cut back to gain a few car lengths last night: selfish, my time is worth more than yours. Same deal with folks who don’t tag their bikes on Caltrain: I don’t care enough to let you know where I’m going; infuriating. But only if you let it be so; everyone has their own pizza panics to deal with and perhaps there’s not enough hours in the day to always be thinking of others, and I get that, and should start to accept it.



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