Dark Clouds

Dear J-

It’s not so bad, today’s rain, I tell myself as I get drippy on the way in. There’s a lot to be thankful for and more to be appreciated, so I should probably get my gear washed one of these days, assuming I figure out how to empty out my pockets. It’s all new! and shiny! and clean! once and then I get my hands on it and never again, of course. We have a thousand other better things to do, none of which seem to involve actually cleaning them, of course. If I had my way there would no doubt be a thousand unfinished projects (I’m up to at least two that I know of, possibly more once I get around to them, possibly, or if I can locate them). Yet the rain reminds me, as occasionally as it falls around here, of those things better left in place.

It’s not completely clear that what I’ve got is always what I wanted; does that make sense? Hooray, you have time off at home. Now spend it wasting that time. The productive things you do and say aren’t always happening, are they? Riding your bike in the rain can be an exercise in self-flagellation, if you choose for it to be that way, but instead perhaps take it for the chance to confess your sins. This is where I turn into Chunk at the hands of the Fratelli brothers,* confessing to all sundry sorts of childhood crimes, but even that might not be good enough, right? If I have these opportunities to be better, why aren’t I taking them on?

You have to value the chances you’re given. If it feels like no big deal, another day, then maybe you should be so blase when they’re gone, right? This is one of those don’t-know-what-youve-got situations, right up there with peace and not having to worry about where your next meal is coming from. Are some of these things hassles because they’re hassles, or because you choose for them to be difficult? That’s what I thought, too, so maybe next time you’ll listen when I say how lucky you are: enumerate the reasons. If you’re done learning, then you’re done; if you can’t find an upside in a situation, then why did you put yourself into it?


* c.f. The Goonies


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