Lotsa Questions

Dear J-

Carlos Mencia (it’s safe to mention Senor Mencia now, right?) had a bit where he imitated the three-year-old boy crying in the store after getting lost (in my case, that was because I’d stop to look at the giant aisle of faced cereal boxes, a veritable wall of color, to see what prizes were inside and therefore which was the most desirable; I think at one point I’d gotten religion over Cap’n Crunch: they had a miniature globe or a by-God GLOW-IN-THE-DARK MOON and I prayed daily that whatever prize inside was luminescing with the sickly green glow of a real moon). The part you laughed at was when the kid was reunited with his parent; he’d get a tragic look on his face and ask “Why’d you LEAVE ME?! I’m ONLY THREE YEARS OLD, you bitch!!” because hey, cursing kids are hilarious.

I’ve been picking up the kids from their daycare and after-school care places for six months now; there are no medals involved in, you know, taking care of your kids, just as there is no cursing for the most part (does repeating “hella” from Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off count?). I think know I’m being hypersensitive to every last demand and unreasonable and the ride home is never quiet enough, but let’s consider this with some more thought. Is this a terrible thing to have kids who are genuinely happy to see me? And I don’t want this to continue? Or for them to not be around in the evenings as I try to nap and/or relax? Sometimes the sacrifices are pretty small and petty, indeed.

It’s not just a question of thinking that well sure, this is how you’re supposed to feel so why don’t you feel this way all the time? Moods change. I get it. You don’t always feel the same way every day, and a steady diet of the same things isn’t good for anyone. What if I … ? Exactly. Precisely. What if you what; what if you spent some of the effort you spend in more fruitful activities? What if the time you spend alone isn’t enough and you want more? Who sacrifices that time? These are all part and parcel of how it is and when you’re old with the kids grown and out of the house, who will remember an extra minute here and there? Who will miss it more? Chew on that for a spell.



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