Trying Harder

Dear J-

theVet had a pretty busy weekend (five house calls in three days) and even with having to pay property taxes and other fees, we’re feeling relatively flush with cash, so we bought tickets to Disneyland. This is our vacation planning: “we should go somewhere … how about Disneyland?” Done. There’s more we-should-go-somewheres in our future, though, and that’s definitely something I need to figure out how to plan for. Perhaps if I just didn’t bother spending so much money on stuff I don’t need … so yeah. We have priorities and perhaps one of them should be travel instead of stuff. I’ve beaten that horse into the ground in the past, though.

Based on my appearance I try not to judge — ostensibly, I try not to judge, that is — but I can feel myself sliding into that mode without much friction at times, some small thing setting me off or making me lose patience. Let’s think about this: if you can deal with having issues at work or in your day, keep it up for the rest of the day and you’ll have more fun overall, won’t you? I try to remember all the things we might have had if I’d been patient and that does help somewhat. We can’t have nice things when you’re not being nice.

Keep trying harder, then. What can you do to make things better for you? What makes life easier? Let everyone know what you’re doing, and make things transparent. The secrets you keep aren’t necessarily uh, necessary.

I enjoyed walking around at night on Halloween. The dark is honest and the lights only reveal a portion of the truth: as much as they’ve selected, and no more. Yet I wonder if you go about your day as if you’re immersed in night: let some in, snap at others, fight traffic and all the other frustrations of the day by relieving pressure at inopportune moments. We can do better, I know this. I can do better.



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