Is Fun

Dear J-

In amongst the other things happening you pause and look up to notice … ah, Tuesday. What happened to Monday? How have we gotten this far already? All the things that you thought you’d be able to get through: nope, nope, nope. While there are other priorities the steady progress from the boy (now not so eager to pee in the pants, hooray) is not matched by what should be happening at work (drafts, further research, phenomenological happenings). I keep thinking that well, tomorrow will bring bigger and better changes and then … not so much. Somehow motivation ebbs between getting up and getting there, but that’s something I need to work on myself.

While I love the idea of getting stuff done and getting through these things — it seems like there’s no reason to be done early, is there? And then on the other hand you might as well act like you’ve been here before and stop admiring your passes quite so ardently (take that, split infinitive police!). Stay flexible and finish what you can when you need to. Ah, advice; it’s never-ending and well-intentioned and completely, utterly aggravating. Does someone need to ask for this before you can start it? Or would you rather be done with it and ready for the next challenge? I’ve had multiple weeks of this dry spell and more than enough time to start, so let’s just get it done, neh?

This may turn out to be a difficult day, given the reluctance to start. They’ve all been difficult days lately, but I need to figure out why I’m working and adjust my attitude accordingly.

The added reluctance of joy and extra soul-crushing weight of writing the same report over and over is just a bonus; it’s lovely to be consistent but this is at least a new report, and should be treated accordingly. The uncertainties will need to be added up and the assumptions enumerated, though, and if that isn’t fun I don’t know what you could do.


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