Boredom Fanatic

Dear J-

Right now I’m thinking of all the things I’d rather be doing than this, from sleeping to just not being here moving south at a good clip through central San Mateo. I should identify the malaise, what the culprits are, and eradicate them, but at the moment all I can do is think of how nice it would be to take a nap (stretch out just a little and nap, that’s it). Sorry.

There are many things I should be doing at work, so let’s not belabor the point: sure, there’s always going to be more work, but there’s a definite difference between stuff you volunteer for and stuff you’re asked to do; remember when every analysis was new and the challenge was in figuring out how to do it? Yeah, me neither, apparently; the stuff I’ve done lately is just piled higher and higher into repetition ad infinitum, so let’s … just … keep … doing … more of the same.

Okay. Let’s instead enumerate what’s different today: it’s a bit drizzly, so you smell the wet-pavement smell that you can’t forget from childhood. We spent some more time together over the weekend — Saturday, we went to the Randall Museum in San Francisco and in contrast to South Bay weather, we had to bring and wear jackets, even while grinding up the face of the hill to the top. The steepness of the hills, that too reminded me of Kobe, the way the city gradually gave way to houses and then nothing but slopes, as we tackled the possibilities of what’s next. That’s actually been one of my goals since moving here so now what? Boat tours? Quiet redwood groves?

It feels like forever since San Onofre already, but it’s only been a year. In that year we’ve moved — twice — gotten reset in jobs and schools, established new haunts and habits, and found ourselves overwhelmed at times with family and all the million responsibilities of moving forward in our lives. Here is a new situation: make the most of it. Don’t just get stuck on what you’d rather be doing, or how it used to be: what are the new challenges associated with this, and how are you going to solve them creatively? Remember when you would claim this was the best part, the writeups and how you’d have a license, a flair to ply a little art? Remember that next time you hear about boredom.



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