Peppy Talk

Dear J-

If I pile up (compile, that is) a list of all the uncertainties compared with what I do know the only certainty is the first will far outpace the second. What if … and no. I have to provide answers that make physical sense, and at the moment I’m not feeling overly confident what I’m seeing is real. Of course what I’m trying to do — predict ten years into the future using a year and a half of data — is pretty ludicrous to begin with, but we have the tools and I have the time. Or rather, I had the time; there”s a morning meeting/teleconference to discuss results, so that will be fun to fumble through. I know what I’m doing, though, and maybe that’s why I need help in interpreting the results.

So. Proceed. Is that your finalanswer? At times I’m not sure what I bring to the table besides a relatively youthful perspective; I’m used to being one of the youngest at work if not the absolute youngest. In every role I’ve filled it’s been the case, so perhaps I’m just seeking out my comfort zone, established long ago when I was jumping up from fifth grade, then taking college classes in the mornings. Plus I’m used to getting special access and privileges so of course I react badly when I don’t get my way. My way, right? Hey, I could turn this whole thing into a self-slamming post: that would work out quite nicely. Not smart enough to understand what’s going on? Laugh it up: at some point I’ll be relied on to be something other than the new guy who doesn’t have to fill a leadership role.

Rumble on forward down the line, up the tracks, on the road, in the way. I suppose that’s the source of my anxiety: am I doing this right? What does right mean at any rate? Rather than play with a consequence-free restart/respawn ability, I know I’m going to have to own my actions and maybe that’s terrifying but y’know, it’s what I signed up for. It’s why I get paid the big bucks. I’ve got to cheer up; isn’t this fun? I may want to go back to being a little cog in the machinery but it doesn’t work that way, not now or anytime in the recent past. Embrace your destiny, but don’t be defined by it. Yeah. Stick that on your facebook wall and share it.



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