Dear J-

I like the idea of the gallery car, and I enjoy the design, though it does seem a bit baroque: some sit below, some sit above, and there’s package shelves and singleton seats for those who don’t want someone to sit next to you (me, in the mornings, but not the afternoons, not after I’ve had a whole day to get stenchy). The main benefit is that I get to keep an eye on my bike, although I’m not sure what utility that has; if someone’s going to move it, it’ll get moved, or gone on top, or … all the same, I’m used to routine and it’s slightly perturbing when there isn’t the Bombardier in the mornings; the routine, should you choose to stalk me, is this: AM Burlingame -> Mountain View, riding in the south bike car of train 102; PM Sunnyvale -> San Mateo, riding in the north bike car of train 261.

I should be so lucky as to get to ride this every day. And I do. I’ll find a donut shop and buy the heck out of some donuts this morning, even if they all use the same recipe up and down the Peninsula. According to county lines, parts of Santa Clara County are on the Peninsula but I like to think we’re … different? in San Mateo County, at least, which ends at Redwood City. Less expensive, for sure. There is no ladder of virtue to be climbed here; one place is not inherently better than another, and I know I’ve been guilty of the gatekeeping that’s plagued me all my life. This might be what happens when your confusion over being raised one way conflicts with how you’re taught in other ways.

We are told we are special and unique and amazing (which is true) and taught as well that we shouldn’t keep scores, as that might hurt other people’s feelings (also true), so there’s no way to distinguish us. Whut. I think we are by nature competitive. We want to know, on a binary basis, winner or loser, so we can go ahead and figure out what to do better next time (if there are no lessons from winning then why bother, right?). We want to feel special and unique and that’s why gatekeeping exists: it’s us, and for you to become one of us dilutes that essence. Men’s clubs. The Klan. There is some merit to those arguments, and more powerful ones against, but it’s embedded in us and can’t be unlearned.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: