Dear J-

The wind is howling today. Relatively speaking. I like to think that I’m up pretty early but by the time I get to work the day’s already a quarter gone and I have at least a third of the day to contribute at work, so let’s see … that makes it 7/12 by the time I’m ready to knock off. The other 5/12 are consumed in closing out work (1/12), commuting (1/24), picking up kids (1/24), bedtime activities (1/8) and … huh? That gives me three hours left to spend doing various activities and I decided to be less efficient than ever, switching up my photographic workflow and using a slower process that’s supposed to be more accurate but at the moment gives me strange results (why are the pictures so small?

We do have a lot of free time when you catch those many hours all together but they often come in spurts and drips, and you’ll never know what you had until the moments have passed. Saturday afternoon I had a long nap with the kids, or more accurately the boy, who had been acting up all day and finally, when I got up from one nap, fell asleep with me on the couch during a movie and never woke up until Sunday, despite a bit of rough handling to get him off me (sweaty!) and into bed. It was restful, these last few weekends and it makes me think we should impose some structure … eventually. Sports? I dunno. There’s a lot of structure and fractions later in life and there will be plenty of time to enjoy them later.

I still have a few places I want to visit around here; there’s a science museum in Marin, which means a trip across the Golden Gate; a friend from San Onofre is coming up next weekend, so I’m hoping to meet up at some point. We stay reasonably busy these weekends, and the imposition of order on our chaos isn’t always welcomed. I try to remember the days growing up when we had to go around on errands and deliveries; when I was seven was when my folks bought the store and my mom disappeared for the next ten years, her fractions taken up with work and accounting late into the night, books adding up backwards and forwards, numbers marching in rigid rows and columns. Is this our fate for the future? Fractions of us given to the kids rather than our whole selves?



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