du Jour

Dear J-

It’s been a couple of days but Sleeper’s The It Girl keeps echoing in my head when I have a quiet moment to myself. For a moment there I was almost convinced that I was cool enough to know and enjoy a semi-obscure/defunct band but contrary to the scoring system in my head, there are no bonus points for listening to older songs and bands. I try to keep up but our heads are filled with light, poppy music and so that’s what I end up purchasing. You might be horrified to learn how much junk I have in my head.

I’m not sure what it is — complacency or ennui, for sure — that keeps me from being able to put together enough consecutive productive hours at work. You have all this, see, and then you feel like it’s not enough so you keep looking for even more, regardless of actual need. Then you end up with too much, and the regret is powerful enough to stun you into wondering why you’d ever have chosen something like this in your life. I’m not sure where I’m going with this. With a little luck, etc. Not if you keep looking for trouble, says I.

I suppose part of it is that I look to have a little feedback on what I’m doing, perhaps more than I get and if I don’t say that’s what I need, how will they know how to give it to me? It’s like at home: you get so much until someone decides this is enough, please stop before you ruin us all. I understand. eBay lenses are not the secret to wealth and happiness. Nor radios, nor receivers, nor [insert junque du jour here, the pursuit of which fills my evenings and weekends]. How was my life before these things? How would it be with? After? During? Exactly.



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