Sick Day

Dear J-

theVet and I had a stupendously dumb fight early Sunday morning: the boy is sick and he woke up in a panic, unable to breathe and running down the hallway (we have a hallway again!) while I slept on obliviously, unaware and seemingly unconcerned. That was the genesis. After that it was off to the races, ending with me storming out in a huff and driving for an hour and a half in the rain over the hills to Half Moon Bay, up the coast to Pacifica, and then back down to San Mateo, where I parked and deciding not to go back inside, drove on for a little loop around Foster City. When I got back there was someone stalled on the freeway off-ramp so I pulled over and gave him a hand pushing the car off to the side.

The last couple of nights Calcifer has had a hacking, wheezing cough so I stayed home on Monday while theVet went for a brief interview. We went to the hardware store, installed locks in the house (all the exterior doors are now keyed alike to a different key than what we had when we bought it) and went for a brief walk later that afternoon, when the sun came out for the first time in a week, it seemed. When figgy was little(r) I used to take her to the beach when she was sick (because the ocean makes the kids laugh and jump which has a far more restorative effect on the soul than anything I could prescribe from over the counter) and then Curry House. I know how we used to be confined to bed rest as the room spun around dizzily in the dark, and I’m not sure that did us any favors.

We ended up having a surprisingly good day on Monday — we went out to dinner that night and the kids were not perfect, but only required a mop once — and we spent time together that didn’t put my teeth on edge. It’s a terrible thing to celebrate — hey, I didn’t yell at the kids — isn’t it? I enjoy spending the time, perhaps surprisingly or not, but there you have it. If I can keep them interested and active then I’ve done well for the day. If I’m exhausted and crabby, though, it’s not good for them and I shouldn’t take it out on them either. That’s on me to spend less time frittering away and more time having fun with them instead of talking about duty and have-to-dos.




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