Sweet Story

Dear J-

I wonder if the train is emptier today because of the holiday week: the same regular folks are here but it still feels a little empty this morning. Then again it is also pretty chilly at the moment; I would be quite happy to be asleep and warm right now except that we don’t often have a chance to sleep in. Let’s think of something less frozen than my head. Promises to spend less? I have the whole notion that if some is good more must be better firmly embedded in my head some days, and nowhere is that more apparent than me having to deal with shopping again. Oh, but that’s a good deal, isn’t it?

We went to the zoo yesterday — San Francisco Zoo — as they were opening up a new playground and Ceylon’s to the point of if she’d had her druthers she’d have stayed there all day: after seeing the first animal she was already bored and wanting to go back, complaining loudly at each step forward. On the other hand once we actually got on the train (after having spent all our cash on tickets, even the emergency money I keep in my camera bag: thank you, broken credit card machines) she declaimed loudly how much fun it was, so there’s hope for the jaded youth everywhere, I suppose. Drive on, driver: we’re all a little disappointed the routine we’ve settled into leaves us frazzled by the end of the day, most weekends, and doesn’t seem to pick up and get going until fairly late.

How much more do you need to be happy? We seem to be content with this is nice, but what about … ? I remember telling Jael my grand plan of this is what we have now and here’s where I want to be in ten years, roughly ten years ago and he asked me well gawd, why aren’t you just happy with what you have? I had all these ambitions, that I wanted things to be better and faster and shinier and I dunno what else: just that if I could leave this life behind and start over would I have chosen what I had? And if the answer then was yes, maybe if I could have that reset button now, then the answer now is no: this is a pretty sweet life after all.



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