Complacent Hare

Dear J-

So apparently I must have a narcolepsy problem, as I’ve been caught sleeping more than once at my new job (in my defense, I … yeah, there’s no defense, even if it is for a meeting) and my old job too, but whereas there it was a source of amusement and entertainment, here it becomes a cause for diagnosing sleep apnea and/or discipline. I imagine it’s got something to do with the staying up too late and choosing not to sleep when I can or should but I try to think it’s not a significant issue when it could potentially be: it’s offensive and disrespectful, and still I can’t seem to stop doing it.

You change your habits because you want to change, not in response to someone else’s observations or conclusions. You change because it’s the right thing to do and not just to keep up appearances. At some point you become fairly disgusted with how lazy and venal you’ve become and choose to make a change, for you. I keep remembering, or at least trying to remind myself, that no one wants to have the reputation of being a troublemaker, or that first impressions can be forever, and at the moment I’m not winning friends here. Sleep should be conserved, at least more than I have lately.

By this point in the week I usually feel at least a little incomprehensible. The feeling should pass but until it does I try to avoid operating heavy machinery or cruising on my reputation, lousy as it may be. Complacency, remember, complacency is what made the plant end up where it is now, and complacency is what’s going to undo me if I don’t snap to it and get it together.



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