Everything and Nothing

Dear J-

Long day yesterday, between getting up earlier to walk in, carrying donuts to work (I’m hoping there’s some leftovers left over) and hanging out in Palo Alto to take the kids in a smallish mob for trick or treating. Too tired, too. I have to remember I can’t just be yelling at everyone all the time just because I want to sit down. It’s not your typical Halloween, I suppose, but there’s little typical about this year too. Last night was a beautiful night and if I’m not grateful enough to see that I should be thrown to the wolves instead. At the time, though, it was one more thing to deal with, one more reason to be angry.

The train is quiet this morning as if in silent rebuke (or because of late night Halloween parties), and next week brings time changes and challenges. We have been getting more responses on the house now that we’ve dropped the price and the counteroffers seem to be going all right; I thought Halloween at the latest but as it turns out it may be Thanksgiving at the outside, Veteran’s Day before our lives change again. So fast. I’ve never sold a house before, but then again I’d never bought one either, and that’s just the way it is when everything changes, safety nets dry up.

I like the morning crews, the quiet camaraderie of … yeah. I’m making stuff up as usual. the longer I lie to myself the easier it is to believe it; stay foolish, at least, right? I’m still tired today; I should have followed the kids to bed, within minutes of them proving sleep is stronger than candy. But you can spend your life regretting everything and for what? We all have so much time allotted, so do your best and right … yeah. If I’m this incoherent in half an hour maybe it’s too hard to be at work today. What themes? Continue. Create. Confirm.



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