Thumb War. One-Two-Three-Four.

Thumb War. One-Two-Three-Four. by mliu92
Thumb War. One-Two-Three-Four., a photo by mliu92 on Flickr.

Dear J-

In a bit of a cheat, I’m using a photograph from yesterday: too wound up to use something I took today, which would have involved me taking a photograph today, which I was too wound up to do. You know. We’re worried about everything lately: getting the house ready to sell, moving, buying a new house, bidding wars, real estate agents, new schools, adjustments and transfers and changes all around for everyone.

I got what I wanted: the job, the move, the family willing to give it all for me. And it sucks: I don’t feel worthy of it, and I don’t think I’m ready. Not yet, anyway. Ready to give this up? We may end up moving into a much smaller space, and that’s troublesome, given the amount of stuff that has entered our lives, so I’ve devoted some time today to reconciling the removal of the stuff. Today we gave away some items to the thrift store guy, who smiled and said, yes, he could use that. Simple, right? There’s so much more left to come it’s not even funny. So many things are not nearly as useful as I thought they might be: books I haven’t cracked in years, LEGOs piling up as a young man’s fancies, things to have just to have things and isn’t that silly?

I remember my brother telling me that he paid more to store his furniture (after moving out of the US) than he paid for the furniture. If that’s that then I wonder: we could live in a 1b/1ba apartment: kids’ beds, closet full of clothes and a dresser drawer or two, pull-out couch. We’ll make this work, I swear. One step at a time.



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