Up now?

Up now? by mliu92
Up now?, a photo by mliu92 on Flickr.

Dear J-

It has been a long week (didn’t I start out last week this way too? clearly I need to rethink my strategies) and a long day to boot. To the library, to lunch, to the park, pushing a stroller full of kids uphill perhaps in atonement for ignoring them the rest of the week. They know who I am. They just don’t get to see me most of the time lately. By the time I get back they’ve eaten and gotten changed into pajamas, ready to head to bed just as I roll in.

Is it sustainable? Of course not. But it feels like the new normal; work has me so turned around that I feel guilty about not being the last one out the door, first one in, single-handedly trying to save what we can out of last year. I’ve said before that I consider 2012 a bit of a lost year, and that’s why: I started in high gear and eventually just lost it, at least in terms of the creative side: no sharing, whether oversharing or not, means no outlet but work.

How much is left for us to confront as we get along? There’s so much left to do, and time grows increasingly short.



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