Dear J-

I suppose that rapture is one of those things you can’t really prepare for: if you’re ready for it and it doesn’t end up happening then it’s probaly not going to happen for you — after all you can’t be so arrogant as to believe you will. You just have to hope, after all. I wasn’t sure if six PM was a matter of your local time or GMT — it doesn’t always make sense for the higher powers to work on your schedule. The right way to live in order to ascend when the time comes is no doubt laid out in religious texts but there’s no guarantees and that strikes me as an engineer as being too inexact. You’ll know you were right when the time comes but until then you have to take it on faith. That’s powerful stuff.

Faith means different things to different people. I take it to mean believing things will turn out as you hope and that’s not enough all the time. Predestination precludes faith, doesn’t it? If you think that you can do all the right things and still get the wrong outcome then what was the use of the faith? Job outlines the requirements of the patient sufferers who have the belief that their struggles do not go unnoticed, their sacrifices not rewarded. I like that idea — yet I can’t believe in it. Call it cynicism or a disturbing lack of faith but it seems too convenient to say that because I don’t believe — secretly or wholeheartedly believe — that’s why it never happens for me.

Besides which I have enough miracles in my life as it is. I strolled them both to the library and that was pretty inpossible to even consider a few months ago. With Calcifer starting in on solid foods and figgy being mostly content to spend time together without too many demands (she can’t be that incredibly demanding for a four-year-old, can she?) we are able to hang together without too much fuss. Faith also means relying on the family to get the right things done and that’s something I can get wholeheartedly behind.



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