Diffident Strokes

Dear J-

Still standing, though undoubtedly not for much longer after a full day at work and school, of a sort. For some reason my Fridays are consumed by meetings, where there’s all kinds of Dilbert-esque grotesqueries popping up to confront me. In one of them one of my friends — we took all our initial training courses together and suffered through the same tests — chaired a meeting but got run over by the senior engineers and managers always willing to inject their own interruptions into the stream. In another we sat around and discussed how things were without actually taking actions back to fix them.

I suppose part of me sees how my peers with comparable experience are getting along in their careers and is a bit envious: their investment in time has paid off with increased recognition and responsibility while I feel much like the same monkey drone that first stepped through those warehouse doors four years ago. I speak up in meetings to note how those parts are coming along, yes sir yes sir right away now.

And yet I find myself waving to people all the time when I’m walking around, getting stopped on stairs and laughing, always chuckling over some strange happening we shared or spent. I remember growing up and walking with my dad around campus, he would point out different people, call their name out, and wave; I was amazed. I thought that he knew everyone in the world. It’s not until you work in a big company like this that you begin to understand what a small world it is, and how easy it is to measure success in different indiffident ways.



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