Red Fish Blue Fish

Dear J-

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish repeats a few phiilsophical couplets: “From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.” Today I either had to laugh or yell, and I chose not to yell — I need to keep it up; one day is a start, but one day isn’t forever, as I mean it to be. You choose the humor in the situation, and it doesn’t make any sense to see it any way that would aggravate yourself. Society does enough of that for us, after all.

There’s a more salient section, though:

Did you ever fly a kite in bed?
Did you ever walk with ten cats on your head?
Did you ever milk this kind of cow?
Well, we can do it. We know how.
If you never did, you should.
These things are fun and fun is good.

Its one way to raise a sociopath, I suppose — allowing the crazy to run unfettered in the pursuit of fun, and those of you at our local Target might well accuse me of doing just that. I see it as an extension of the dedication phrase — learn to see the fun in anything, everything, and you’re on your way to enjoying life versus complaining about it. So long as she’s not actively hurting other people and not breaking merchandise, I’m inclined to leave her on a long leash. It’s how we learn.

My brother was fond of reminding me that when I was little — so little that I either can’t remember it, or I’ve successfully supressed it — I broke a glass display at one of the fancy stores in Spokane. Keeping with the unreliable narrator theme, I was either horsing around or climbing on it, both of which boil down to the same clumsy cause, but I’m sure I had a good reason for it (I wanted to, or I needed to), just as figgy has good reasons for saying no as much as she does. Stubborn hearts collide in pitched battles; what we seek is not dominance but freedom — to do what we want when we want how we want. That fight begins within, trying to relearn the courage we had at three to let the heart take the lead more often.



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