Dear J-
As we wind down for the night I like to think about the things I’ve done and what I can do to change them; perhaps like is too strong a word, more like “worry them to death” and “dwell on the past” as I ponder them. After getting home the next three hours slip by in a blur of defiance and flinging: there’s no will quite as stubborn as figgy’s, and there’s no reasoning with her once she’s decided on a course of action: no dinner, not that, don’t want a bath, not bedtime, wrong books, mommy, not daddy not mommy. Funny, you spend time worrying about doing the right thing by reasoning and consequences, but those sorts of things just tend to bounce off her head.
Today, for instance, we tried to explain that the faster we got the bath over, the more time there’d be to play or watch a little TV (lately and/or as always, some Miyazaki films — she’s been asking for Castle in the Sky by name). Instead she frittered away the time not getting undressed and finding all kinds of distractions instead (tea set, music, playing one of us against the other) and we walk away convinced that she’s completely crazy or desperate. The more you tell her about consequences the less she wants to listen; the more reasonable you become, the less she does.
It’s not about being a friend all the time, though; if you choose to, you can always be one of the invertebrates who decide to give in to every last demand, but then you find yourself with another Veruca Salt on your hands. The squirrels know, after all, which are the good nuts by knocking on the heads, but we parents aren’t quite so lucky or skilled. We trust in the best, we trust ourselves and we trust that our best interests can’t possibly go wrong, can they?
Mike
Tags: children, parenting, Veruca Salt
Dear J- 
22 January 2010 at 9:15 pm |
Ella lately has been so hard. On thursday we were stuck inside her house because of the rain, and she was in a terrible mood. She smashed and/or spit all the food I tried to give her, she didn’t want to wear clothes, she didn’t want to play with real toys, she only wanted to play with things she shouldn’t be touching like the phone, TV buttons, electrical sockets. She cried all day. I nearly died. Oh and she smeared poop all over her self and me when I was trying to change her diaper. Best birth control method ever. J.K. I already miss her.
2 March 2010 at 9:00 pm
Why can’t kids be more disgusted with poop naturally? There’s a strange fascination but I suppose it’s all learned behaviors.
22 January 2010 at 9:16 pm |
This is Sarah, from Ben’s computer, he is still at work 😦