Sow Reap

Dear J-

There was a blurb in this morning’s paper about how remembering things — even reviewing old photographs — makes people feel more connected to the world.  There’s another article, perhaps unrelated, saying that you need to exercise your mind as well as body in order to stay fit.  If that’s the case, then all the dwelling on the past hat I’ve done should be keeping me like some kind of mental Bruce Jenner; I can’t say that it all comes back with crystal clarity, but I’m pretty sure I could whip myself into a froth just by remembering all the moments of sheer panic I’ve been through (waking up an hour late for a three-hour final exam is a particularly good one).

Right now figgy’s going through a couple more milestones, perhaps late (it’s another panicky part, this keeping up with typical development schedules) — toilet training and giving up the pacifier; the toilet, not so quickly (it’s hard to keep her occupied while she sits; she just wants to get up and run around the house, which is okay until the unexpected flood comes).  The pacifier, on the other hand, became an exercise in cold turkey, and a successful one at that, so far.  I wonder what memories she’s going to keep from this time, what she’ll dredge up in years to come.

What do you plant in the emotional minefield that is memory?  Better yet, what do you reap?  Being the master manipulator of my own feelings, I’m pretty much that kid who you can’t keep from poking at some sore spot, revisiting slights and accidents over and over until that amplification/magnification spiral has reached its peak, and the smallest thing becomes overwhelmingly impassable.  Knowing this the solution is easy:  if I can magnify the past beyond significance, then remembering the simple joys is far more constructive.



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One Response to “Sow Reap”

  1. Tracey Pyscher Says:

    Top-notch post it is really. We have been awaiting for this info.

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