Dear J-
Every now and again I have to remind myself to take it down — as much as I believe the world revolves around me, my emotions do affect my family: retreat into a sullen shell and even the most patient person would be hard-pressed to remain cheerful in such a dour presence. Perhaps we need a bit of sulk time to recalibrate our baselines; the trick is figuring out the right amount. Spend too much time and you get all pruney with self-pity; not enough and you’ve gotten no insight.
What is it we’re after in this world? I sometimes spend days convincing myself that I’ve gotten over the depression that used to keep me awake nights and then it catches up again in the middle of the most mundane activities. The smallest problems present insurmountable obstacles and that pile of chores represents an impossible odyssey. I begin to understand the appeal of pharmaceuticals offering a quick way out; understand it and keep finding other paths through the sparkle in figgy’s eyes.
Mike
Tags: depression, figgy, history
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