Two Year Revue

Dear J-

I keep making excuses, although we don’t have that much further to run — figgy’s real birthday is Wednesday, but weekends are much easier to observe these things. The second birthday isn’t as big in any culture, I think, except to mark the transition to the terrible twos. My personal hypothesis for that has to do with developmental issues — you’re somewhere between knowing what you want and not being able to say it; the cliché of “use your words” is actually pretty accurate. Therefore, the two-year review:

  • 200 gallons of milk consumed (mostly soy)
  • 150 extra trips around the block trying to get her to fall asleep
  • 100 weeks with at least one tantrum
  • 75 steps, average, taken before asking for UPS, UPS, UPS
  • 50 dollars usually spent on toys quickly discarded in favor of a rock, or a leaf
  • 30 seconds, nominally, until the next request
  • 20 years wondering what life would be like with a figgy
  • 15 percent, time, money, and effort spent trying to guess correctly
  • 10 hours a day worked means no time for figgy, terrible for all of us
  • 5 different ways of pronouncing Daddy, depending on what’s needed
  • 2 cupcakes destroyed today
  • 1 more heart won, as usual




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2 Responses to “Two Year Revue”

  1. junior Says:

    Happy Birthday figgy, and Happy figgy’s Birthday Mike and theVet!!!

    The fact that she prefers a leaf or rock to the synthetic toys is proof, IMHO, that you’re doing something right raising that child. A capacity for wonder will take her a long way in life. I want, nay demand, smeared cake-face birthday photos!

  2. dearJ Says:

    … ask and ye shall receive

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