Two Year Revue

Dear J-

I keep making excuses, although we don’t have that much further to run — figgy’s real birthday is Wednesday, but weekends are much easier to observe these things. The second birthday isn’t as big in any culture, I think, except to mark the transition to the terrible twos. My personal hypothesis for that has to do with developmental issues — you’re somewhere between knowing what you want and not being able to say it; the cliché of “use your words” is actually pretty accurate. Therefore, the two-year review:

• 200 gallons of milk consumed (mostly soy)
• 150 extra trips around the block trying to get her to fall asleep
• 100 weeks with at least one tantrum
• 75 steps, average, taken before asking for UPS, UPS, UPS
• 50 dollars usually spent on toys quickly discarded in favor of a rock, or a leaf
• 30 seconds, nominally, until the next request
• 20 years wondering what life would be like with a figgy
• 15 percent, time, money, and effort spent trying to guess correctly
• 10 hours a day worked means no time for figgy, terrible for all of us
• 5 different ways of pronouncing Daddy, depending on what’s needed
• 2 cupcakes destroyed today
• 1 more heart won, as usual

Mike

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Tags: birthday, figgy, fun, lists, zoo