Argue Well

Dear J-

We live in an amazing world where nothing seems to work perfectly and everyone’s overly happy to point it out to you. Not just at work any more — sure, this new software rollout has all the hallmarks of a FUBAR-in-progress; in photography, there’s plenty of folks ready to jump down your throat when you don’t agree with their viewpoint or brand — witness the often juvenile discourse on dpreview.com. Bicycles, mountain climbing, purses, schools; everything has a ranking, giving everyone a pecking order.

Folks have told me that you shouldn’t carry birds on your shoulder, in that the bird, seeing you at eye-level, thinks it’s at least your equal. Me, I often make the mistake of wrestling with dogs on the floor, which leads to a lot of slobber, loose fur, and all too often, what seems like a reluctance to follow my commands crisply (“Well, okay … I guess.”). It’s too easy to drag ourselves down to gutter level and wallow in the same mud we fling because I’m right, you’re right, the whole darned human race is right about something. It’s like driving a car: we may talk up a mean blue streak behind the wheel, disconnected from face-to-face contact, but turn the two antagonists into a room together and some social pleasantries will be employed.

Spend enough time on message forums and you’ll see the same dramas play themselves out, repeatedly. I’m not saying there aren’t valid arguments, or that no one learns from the other side, just that the flexibility and patience we expect to receive we too often deny to others. Make your point. But make your point with reason, and learn to argue intelligently. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to say “I told you so.”

Mike

Tags: argue, flame, intelligent argument, internet, level of discourse